The Tender Bar: A Memoir

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The Tender Bar

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Major Character List

The Tender Bar

• Aunt Ruth – J.R.’s Aunt, Uncle Charlie’s wife
• Bobo – handsome blonde gentleman
• Bob the Cop – local policeman
• Cager – red haired Irishman, looks like a Van Gogh self-portrait
• Colt – a Yogi Bear sound alike
• Grandpa – J.R.’s Grandfather
• J.R – Main Character
• Joey D. – a softhearted brawler, a Vietnam veteran
• McGraw – J.R.’s Cousin
• Steve – Uncle Charlie’s boss, owner of Steve’s bar
• Uncle Charlie – J. R.’s Uncle, Aunt Ruth’s husband, Humphrey Bogart look alike,
  bartender at Dickens

Discussion Questions

The Tender Bar

1. Discuss both the positive and negative things that influenced JR. Describe his family circumstances.
2. There are various portrayals of “good” and “bad” men in the memoir. What determines “goodness” in men according to this author?
3. The use of alcohol pervades this memoir. How is it portrayed as a positive factor? How is it shown to be a negative factor in the lives of the characters?
4. What did you think about JR’s mother? How does she feel about her living circumstances? Is she a strong character? Is her life typical of many single mothers?
5. Describe the suffering of JR's grandmother. Who abuses her and how? What dilemma does she cope with? Did you find her a sympathetic character?
6. JR's grandfather is terrible to his wife and children, and mostly terrible to his grandchildren. Give examples? Does he have sympathetic moments? What could be the reasons for his conduct?
7. JR grows up without a present father. How do you think his search for a masculine identity influences the direction of his life?
8. The men along the bar are depicted warts and all--did you consider them positive role models? Which of the men was most appealing to you, and why?
9. What role did sports have in the lives of the men in the story?
10. In what ways was JR's enormous ambition a positive element in his life, and in what ways was it the source of pain?
11. How did you feel about the epilogue, and the way that the events of the epilogue tied together the themes of the memoir? Did you feel resolution? Did you think JR had changed? In what ways?